Happily ever afters….

I write happy endings—thirty books thus far.   After putting my heroes and heroines  through all sorts of struggle and heartache, they finally learn, grow, and become capable of finding true happiness.

In my own family, we’ve just had a real-life happy ending to rejoice–our youngest child was married Saturday night.  All of the planning and list-making and appointments and travel and decision-making have now come to an end.

But what a wonderful weekend it was!  A meaningful ceremony, combining some of the Spanish traditions of Matt’s family with those typical of our church.  Then a reception and dinner,  followed by a wedding dance heavily flavored by the salsa and bachatta music Emily and Matt love.

The dance started with a salsa lesson that brought many of the guests out on the floor, which was fun, though the highlight of the evening for me was seeing Emily and Matt performing their solo dance–a romantic bachatta that took my breath away.

It was quite a process, getting ready for Emily’s big day.  Who knew it could be so involved?  Back in the dark ages, when I got married, things were so much simpler!  Luncheon at the church–check.  Invitations chosen from a book at the local stationers–check.  Cake from the local woman who baked cakes for everyone in the community–check.  Now, with a half-dozen annual bridal fairs in the area and myriad vendors to choose from, the process is dizzying.  But still, it provided adventures and mother-daughter outings that were precious to me as our daughter moved toward her wedding day.

As I said at the beginning, I have written a lot of happy endings.  But what follows that moment of realization and commitment at the end of a book–the journey through life with all of the good times and bad–is far more complex and challenging than anything that might have led up to the proposal.

What would your advice be for a newly married couple?  And what are some of your favorite memories from your own wedding, or weddings that you have attended?

Best wishes to you all!

Roxanne Rustand

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13 Responses to Happily ever afters….

  1. leannebanks says:

    Oh, Roxanne, the pictures are beautiful! Thank you for sharing! Based on their interest in dancing,my advice for your beautiful daughter and her husband would be to never stop dancing.<3

  2. roxrustand says:

    What great advice. What captured my interest initially, when I met my husband, was that he was an incredible ballroom dancer, but three kids and all of the pressures of family life led to the dwindling away of those wonderfully romantic evenings on the dance floor and we only rarely dance now. You are so right!

  3. Cindy Gerard says:

    It was a beautiful wedding, Rox and Emily was simply gorgeous.
    I even got some salsa lessons from a lovely young man with infinite patience :o) I got the steps and was getting the twirls, but I don’t think I’ll EVER get the hip action that Matt has. Wow, can that boy dance! Emily too.
    Best advice: that they remain as open with each other as they are now. They are so clearly in love and receptive to each others needs. They should really strive to keep that openess and continue to enjoy each other.

    • roxrustand says:

      Yeah. i know my stodgy hips will never be that fluid….but I sure love to watch Matt and Emily dance. The last hour of the night, when the dance floor had thinned out, I was just in awe at the couples still out there: spinning, doing impossibly intricate moves, so feather light and graceful. Good for you on getting the twirls down. I’ve been told that there aren’t that many different steps and moves, but the complexity of how they are combined is what makes the dancing so showy. You are well on your way! Now, bring Tom to the salsa nights in CR at the Longbranch and Cocktails and Company. 🙂 They have free lessons each time.

  4. CateS says:

    Keep a date night on your schedule — keeps the communiciating factor flowing!

  5. roxrustand says:

    That’s such a good idea, CateS. My dh and I failed to do that for a good decade when our three kids were growing up—babysitters were hard to find and the grandmas were a state away. But it would have given us a nice break if we had!

  6. loisgreiman says:

    What a beautiful bride, Rox. Congrats. Daughters are sooooo wonderful.

    My advice is an odd little piece but here it is; don’t expect to get evvvverything you need from your spouse. We have friends for a reason. Make time for them, too.

  7. Oh so beautiful, Rox!

    I’m dealing with photographs right now. Oh my gosh, what a challenge. My advice to the new bride is to start organizing now. Your wedding photos are taken care of–you’ve got the dvd, the cd, the backup, all that–but you’re going to want your own copies of pics from your parents and grandparents and as far back as you can go. There’s a big gap in my parents’ collection from the slides days. They were lost. And color photos–my era–are fading fast. One thing you can count on is changing media. Start working with your mom and your grandmas if you can. And don’t be too committed to the current thing. Black and white photos have stood the test of time.

  8. superauntkx9 says:

    What a beautful bride your daughter made.. Congrats to them and I wish them years and years of happiness… I have never been married, so can’t give any advice… When you were talking about the traditions of preparing for the wedding and how they have changed, I am remineded of the new progam I have started watching on TV, “Say YES to the Dress”… I tell you I am amazed at how some of these brides act out.. All the brides in our family never had this many people helping to choose the dress.. Usually the mother of the bride in our family goes with her. They never took an entourange to choose a dress.. I hope you had a good experience with your daughter.. I regret that it is the one thing I never gave my mom and as I have no children, it will be the one think I don;t get to share with a daughter…

    • roxrustand says:

      I wanted to make every step of the way a real mom/daughter experience that she would remember, without ever trying to make decisions for her. I’d promised trips to Chicago, Minneapolis, wherever it took for her to find the perfect dress. The first store we stopped at, in our hometown, was going out of business, and we thought we’d just get a feel for the basic styles. Instead, the first dress she tried on was perfect–she looked like a princess, covered in glittering crystals, and it fit and flattered her. We looked at each other and figured that we could travel the entire Midwest and not find a dress we like more on her. Same thing happened with the veil, and shoes…but we still ended up getting to Chicago together for the RT reader’s convention, and she will be coming with me to California in July for the RWA writer’s conference. I treasure these times, knowing that in two years she and Matt will be out of graduate school and will live at least five hours away! I will miss her so much!

      I’ll bet you and you mom had many other wonderful experiences together, even if they didn’t involve the stresses of a wedding!

  9. kylie brant says:

    It was so beautiful Rox and I hope it was everything the two of you hoped for. I am so happy to have been there for their special day. They are so supportive of each other…they just need to continue what they’re already doing!

  10. roxrustand says:

    Thanks, Kylie. We were so happy that you and Cindy could be there! .Being surrounded by friends and family made the day complete. It’s hard to believe it’s over, though, after working on it for so long!

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