Starting Over – You Up For It?

Are you happy with the path your life has led you? Are you satisfied with your job? Does your personal life work for you?  I know, serious and heavy questions. But I suspect we all have to face them in some form or other at some point in our lives.  If you had to start over, with a job, relationship or whathaveyou, could you do it?  How would you do it?

This question has touched my life recently in that I’ve been watching my husband face those questions. Because of the economy he’s facing some serious life changes. And it’s made me look at him in new ways.  Our menfolk are supposed to be the strong ones, the stoic heroes in our lives. They are not soft. They are bold and impeccable.  Yet really, we all know they are the ones who fall the hardest and need the most support. He’s facing the tough questions, and I’m asking myself those same questions as he learns the answers, good, bad or ugly.

So what about you? Have you ever thought about the challenges that would go into starting a new career?  Starting over in a new relationship after many years in a secure one, either in business or personally?  Do you think you could do it, or would you prefer life just remain as it is, steady on course and never changing?

I’ve always thought I liked my life as it is. I have a job I enjoy, my family is well and I’m basically happy.  But life has a way of forcing us to meet challenges at any turn. I guess I won’t know if I’m up for it until I’m in the thick of it, but if I’ve learned anything by watching my husband, I do welcome the challenge when it arrives.

Starting over can be scary, but many people do it because they have to, or even because they want to.  I’d love to hear your story about starting over, the trials and the rewards.  It’s a part of life, isn’t it?


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15 Responses to Starting Over – You Up For It?

  1. kylie brant says:

    Other than moving to new towns and starting teaching jobs in new districts, I can’t really say that I’ve started over. I am writing in a new genre now (I think) and that has been exhilarating. Starting over can be scary and exciting all at once. Self-doubts can be the bugaboo when faced with a life change, can’t they?

  2. michelehauf says:

    Sounds like you’ve done the start over thing, Kylie. Heck, moving to a new town or taking a new job is a startover. And a new genre? Fun!

  3. Two years ago I quit my day job, after years of encouragement from my dh. I was in the middle of a series of tight deadlines for the next nine months and though I had resisted leaving a job I loved, it was sure a blessing to have more time! Your questions got me thinking. Anyone who starts seriously writing is beginning a new and time consuming job, and once they’re published, it’s like a second career–or for some, the only career. It takes some big adjustments for the entire family, especially when deadlines loom. I’m curious about how well the families of other writers adjust. My kids were young and remember nothing different, but it took my dh quite a few years to adjust to the long hours my writing took up!

    • michelehauf says:

      The whole ‘giving up the day job’ for writing is a HUGE challenge. But well worth it to write full time, yes? I find my kids know nothing else, because I’ve written since they were little. But they never really caught on that mom had a ‘real job’ until they were older, because ‘real jobs’ implied going to an office to work. 🙂

  4. loisgreiman says:

    I think generallllllly it’s easy for women to change. I mean, if we think about it, our bodies insist that we change all the time. Menstration, pregnancy, lactation, menopause. We’re always in flux. Men are on a more even keel and don’t seem as flexible to me. But yeah, I think I could start over on most things if I had to. Is your hubby looking for a whole new career path?

  5. michelehauf says:

    I agree with we women being flexable, Lois. And men are more solid and straight on their paths. Hubby is looking to go freelance with his carpentry, which is a huge challenge, stepping into it now after having worked for others for his entire life. Lots to consider.

  6. kylie brant says:

    Does he travel, Michele??? I could keep him busy at my house for a while!

    • michelehauf says:

      Yes, Kylie, lately he has been traveling to ND. Seems like everywhere but where we live, people are in desperate need of a carpenter!

  7. Linda says:

    Starting over is not the hard part. Sometimes it is oicking yourself up off the floor to be able to start over is what the hard part is. I owrked at one practice for the first 8 years after I graduated, thought I was going to stay there, until I was informed my contract was not going to be renewed. Okay I had asked God to help me change my life but umm not cut me off at the knees. So I bravely foolishly decided to try to open my own practice. I struggled with it for then next four years, then got seriously hurt with no insurance and had to start over once again. Life is what you make of it, once something has happened you have to move forward or you just sit in one place and cry and that is never good. I am sure your husband will do fine with his carpentry he has some one to give him support and encouragement.

  8. lindina2 says:

    Feet of clay, fear of the unknown, feeling safe with how it is now Crap happens, often beyond our control, and sometimes it feels like the end of the world. Sometimes it is. It can be the loss of your mate due to death or divorce, a job loss, or any number of things. Well-meaning friends will tell you God never gives you more than you can handle. Or in a death situation, that it will get better in time. A lot of it is easy for them to say….it’s not their life falling apart. The only thing I have learned for sure in 65 years is that when one door closes, another opens. But you have to be patient. I recently read something describing that inbetween time as a really dark, scary hallway. Stay in today. Don’t fret about tomorrow. It’s coming, and you’ll deal with it. You can’t change yesterday, but you can be really grateful for the blessings now.

  9. lindina2 says:

    I didn’t mention being divorced at 22 with 2 kids under 2, but at least I had an ex who paid child support. I became a single mom with no ex to baby #3 when I was 38. #4 has an extra chromosome, and extreme behaviors, and that ex died recently from a brain tumor. I retired on disability at 56. Income-wise wasn’t all that much different – I had no childcare or transportation/clothing/lunch expenses, but I had 5 surgeries in 2 years (maybe because I had good insurance…Medicare will kill me lol). I have been an addict who od’d, but came out so much better! That was probably when I learned that it does get better. I now live alone, on limited income, but I have free flight benefits from my last job, and a pension – but that airline is in bankrupcy. I might lose both. I just dig in the dirt more and keep on making beautiful gardens out of nothing. I have a beautiful grandson around the corner. I cannot drive. I manage, and no matter what happens, we women are very resilient. Sometimes we just need a
    small attitude adjustment or a reality check on our standard of living.

  10. Leanne says:

    Great subject Michele! I think starting over is terrifying, but exhilarating. Change is what makes us continue to feel alive. Good luck to your husband!!! xo

  11. Pingback: Starting Over « Phenomenal Mama

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