You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Whenever I draw a blank on a blog topic I go looking for weird and strange news.  And then I get sidetracked for hours, because there’s a whole lotta weird out there in any given week.  Here are a  few of the doozies I ran across:

An Oklahoma man had a portable meth lab explode in his pants when he struggled with a state trooper.  Apparently he was a passenger in a car that got pulled over for speeding, and the trooper questioned the driver’s passenger about a strange chemical smell. This rocket scientist took off running, was chased down and during the ensuing struggle an active meth lab burst in his pants and got all over his skin.  “A portable meth lab is also known as a one-pot lab, where a smaller batch of the drug can be manufactured.”  Which gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘cooking for one.’

And from Florida there was the recent news of drunken grandparents towing their grandchild in a toy car.  Apparently they were driving an SUV and the young child was riding in a large plastic Hotwheels car that had been tied to the vehicle’s trailer hitch with dog leashes.  When the police stopped the SUV they discovered the grandparents were drunk, and had been pulling the child in the car at speeds of 5-10 miles an hour all day.  Chances are they won’t be asked to babysit again any time soon.

And for those of you in the market for a little heavy metal, there’s the story of thieves who managed to make off with a 10-ton bridge.  A gang of metal thieves in the Czech Republic presented depot workers with forged documents claiming they were hired to demolish the bridge in question, and remove the railway tracks beneath to make way for a new bike path.  They made off with millions in scrap metal before anyone checked their story.

And perhaps the strangest story is about the man who was charged with assault for forcing another man to moonwalk at gunpoint. I’m starting to feel a bit bad about pressuring my son to hit the dance floor whenever Thriller is played.  Although in my defense he takes very little persuading….

What’s the strangest news story you’ve read recently?

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22 Responses to You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

  1. What a fun blog! Not a new story, but OMG on the skin of the woman who is accused of taking her five-year-old into the tanning booth. Her skin color is SCARY!
    I’ll have to be checking in all day to see what others come up with!

  2. kylie brant says:

    Cynthia, I read that one, too. I mean, there are spray on products if she insists on her daughter looking tan. But geez….a five-year-old????

  3. Cindy Gerard says:

    Funny, Kim.
    I can’t think of any specific story off hand but every time I see the Kardashian’s name in the news I figure there’s something ‘stupid’ attached to it.

    Oh – and Kathy, the “you can’t fix stupid” comedian is Ron ‘they call me tatter salad’ White.

    • kylie brant says:

      Oh, love Ron White 🙂 And he’s write…it’s unfixable! Mixing a meth lab in one’s pants takes stupid to a whole new level.
      And then there was the guy overseas who begged his ex to ‘straighten’ his…man part in her straightener and then charged her with assault when he got 3rd degree burns. Um, yeah. Was glad stupid is all over and not just in the US!

  4. cherie hayes says:

    The worst one I heard lately was that they were trying to pass a law in Egypt that a man can have sex with his wife up to six hours after they die. It was a bogus story but still. Really.

  5. Linda says:

    Our local paper has a section that has the strange news story of the day. A few weeks ago there was an article about the dairy cow that walked up to the McDonald’s drive through. Local police called the owner to come pick her up. She was bored and looking for attention.
    As for the woman with the tan….. ummm just have to say no it does not make her look better and leather skin is not in vogue. Hopefully she really does not allow her young daughter anywhere near the tanning booth. And I agree with Cindy on the Kardashian’s being equal to stupid when in the news.

  6. Who was it who said, “You can’t cure stupid”? Oh, yeah. Some comedian who smokes cigars and swills Scotch throughout his act.

    Cynthia, I saw that woman on TV. She had stupid written all over her face. (Maybe it’s an addiction, in which case she deserves some sympathy as long as she doesn’t tan that little girl.)

  7. kylie brant says:

    Kathleen, I think we need to lower the bar on what constitutes grounds to terminate parental rights. The gal who wanted to tan her daughter may not qualify but a lot of other stories I read did!

  8. loisgreiman says:

    Lately, anything to do with John Edwards goes on my too stupid and may have to die list.

    • kylie brant says:

      Ditto, Lois. Add arrogant and morally bankrupt, and ethically about the worst person in the world to cheat on his dying wife on the world stage. Sheesh. Hope he gets locked up.

  9. Leanne says:

    Great topic, Kylie! Did you see the video from the Oregon Zoo where the lion tried to eat a zebra-dressed toddler? Ack!

    • kylie brant says:

      I *did* see that, Leanne! Totally freaked me out. Never feel completely safe at the zoo. I’ve heard stories of lions leaping across large concrete moats to get at people walking inside the fence.

    • That reminds of the time I helped chaperone my 5 year old (now almost 35!) and her class for a trip to the Seattle Zoo. One little classmate wore her white “fur” coat and white “fur” hat – they asked us to leave the polar bear viewing area because the polar bears went ape sh#% when they spotted the little girl. Assume they thought we’d kidnapped one of their cubs! The kids just thought it was funny that the bears kept pounding on the glass wall!

  10. Alison says:

    I saw a news article last week about a dentist who pulled all her ex-boyfriends teeth out while he was in her chair! EEK! Obviously she wasn’t over the breakup, but I don’t think it was the brightest move on his part to keep using her as a dentist. Poor guy!

  11. kylie brant says:

    Lol, Alison, I saw that, too. And I thought, “There’s got to be more to *that* story!”

  12. I read about a 19-year-old drunk who bit her pitbull in IL last week. The police was called and eventually arrested the woman. The dog had numerous bite wounds, but was not charged for biting back. Seriously.

    Nadja

  13. Kylie, your news clips are hilarious! People are just unbelievable. I just noticed a clip on yahoo about a woman being mauled by a cheetah at an animal park. Her husband kept merrily taking photos of the incident, rather than stopping to help her–until he said he “eventually noticed that it was actually biting her.” Ummm….duh!!

  14. CateS says:

    Dad thought ‘they’d like’ ride on hood

    DWI among felony charges

    Dominic Adams | The Journal Gazette
    FORT WAYNE – Aaron Stefanski thought his kids would enjoy being strapped to the hood of his vehicle when he stopped at a liquor store south of downtown.

    “I was only going to drive around the corner. I thought they would like it,” he would later tell police.

    Stefanski strapped his two sons, ages 4 and 5, his 6-year-old daughter and the 7-year-old daughter of Jessica Clark to the hood with a tow strap, police said.

    Clark and her daughter were riding with Stefanski and his children when they stopped at Belmont Beverage, 2116 Fairfield Ave.

    A manager at the liquor store called 911 about 5:30 p.m. Monday when he saw Stefanski use a tow strap to secure the four children to the hood of a large white, 4-door vehicle and head south on Fairfield, the police report said.

    A U.S. marshal in the area heard the dispatch and pulled Stefanski over in the 400 block of Poplar Street – about three blocks away, the report said.

    Fort Wayne police arrived shortly after and could smell alcohol on Stefanski’s breath, according to a probable cause affidavit filed Tuesday. His blood alcohol level was 0.17 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 percent in Indiana.

    The mother of Stefanski’s children later showed up and the children were released to her, the police report said.

    Police said Stefanski did not have valid insurance and when they went to tow the vehicle, they found two cold 24-ounce Magnum beers inside a pink backpack inside the car.

    Stefanski was unkempt and crying when police interviewed him. He told officers he had two beers at home, the report said.

    Stefanski, 29, was charged with three felony counts of neglect of a dependent, felony operating a vehicle while intoxicated and four misdemeanor counts of criminal recklessness.

    Clark, 29, later told police that what Stefanski did was not in the best interest of their safety. She was arrested on a felony charge of neglect of a dependent. Clark’s daughter was placed with the Department of Child Services, the police report said.

    Both Stefanski and Clark live in the 200 block of East Dewald Street.

    Dad thought ‘they’d like’ ride on hood

    DWI among felony charges

    Dominic Adams | The Journal Gazette

    Stefanski

    Clark

    FORT WAYNE – Aaron Stefanski thought his kids would enjoy being strapped to the hood of his vehicle when he stopped at a liquor store south of downtown.

    “I was only going to drive around the corner. I thought they would like it,” he would later tell police.

    Stefanski strapped his two sons, ages 4 and 5, his 6-year-old daughter and the 7-year-old daughter of Jessica Clark to the hood with a tow strap, police said.

    Clark and her daughter were riding with Stefanski and his children when they stopped at Belmont Beverage, 2116 Fairfield Ave.

    A manager at the liquor store called 911 about 5:30 p.m. Monday when he saw Stefanski use a tow strap to secure the four children to the hood of a large white, 4-door vehicle and head south on Fairfield, the police report said.

    A U.S. marshal in the area heard the dispatch and pulled Stefanski over in the 400 block of Poplar Street – about three blocks away, the report said.

    Fort Wayne police arrived shortly after and could smell alcohol on Stefanski’s breath, according to a probable cause affidavit filed Tuesday. His blood alcohol level was 0.17 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 percent in Indiana.

    The mother of Stefanski’s children later showed up and the children were released to her, the police report said.

    Police said Stefanski did not have valid insurance and when they went to tow the vehicle, they found two cold 24-ounce Magnum beers inside a pink backpack inside the car.

    Stefanski was unkempt and crying when police interviewed him. He told officers he had two beers at home, the report said.

    Stefanski, 29, was charged with three felony counts of neglect of a dependent, felony operating a vehicle while intoxicated and four misdemeanor counts of criminal recklessness.

    Clark, 29, later told police that what Stefanski did was not in the best interest of their safety. She was arrested on a felony charge of neglect of a dependent. Clark’s daughter was placed with the Department of Child Services, the police report said.
    Both Stefanski and Clark live in the 200 block of East Dewald Street.
    Stefanski was being held in lieu of $13,000 bail. Clark’s bail was set at $2,500.
    end… ps.. the kids thought it sounded like fun… the apple doesn’t fall far..

    Dad thought ‘they’d like’ ride on hood

    DWI among felony charges

    Dominic Adams | The Journal Gazette

    Stefanski

    Clark

    FORT WAYNE – Aaron Stefanski thought his kids would enjoy being strapped to the hood of his vehicle when he stopped at a liquor store south of downtown.

    “I was only going to drive around the corner. I thought they would like it,” he would later tell police.

    Stefanski strapped his two sons, ages 4 and 5, his 6-year-old daughter and the 7-year-old daughter of Jessica Clark to the hood with a tow strap, police said.

    Clark and her daughter were riding with Stefanski and his children when they stopped at Belmont Beverage, 2116 Fairfield Ave.

    A manager at the liquor store called 911 about 5:30 p.m. Monday when he saw Stefanski use a tow strap to secure the four children to the hood of a large white, 4-door vehicle and head south on Fairfield, the police report said.

    A U.S. marshal in the area heard the dispatch and pulled Stefanski over in the 400 block of Poplar Street – about three blocks away, the report said.

    Fort Wayne police arrived shortly after and could smell alcohol on Stefanski’s breath, according to a probable cause affidavit filed Tuesday. His blood alcohol level was 0.17 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 percent in Indiana.

    The mother of Stefanski’s children later showed up and the children were released to her, the police report said.

    Police said Stefanski did not have valid insurance and when they went to tow the vehicle, they found two cold 24-ounce Magnum beers inside a pink backpack inside the car.

    Stefanski was unkempt and crying when police interviewed him. He told officers he had two beers at home, the report said.

    Stefanski, 29, was charged with three felony counts of neglect of a dependent, felony operating a vehicle while intoxicated and four misdemeanor counts of criminal recklessness.

    Clark, 29, later told police that what Stefanski did was not in the best interest of their safety. She was arrested on a felony charge of neglect of a dependent. Clark’s daughter was placed with the Department of Child Services, the police report said.

    Both Stefanski and Clark live in the 200 block of East Dewald Street.

    Stefanski was being held in lieu of $13,000 bail. Clark’s bail was set at $2,500.

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