The Anti-Show Wedding

I recently had the pleasure of being a guest at the wedding of my 37 year old cousin, Heather to her fiancee, Tom.026  They had a romance novel cute meet.  Her car died and she called for a tow.  He was the owner of the towing service and he didn’t usually do the actual towing.  This time, however, he did.  They met, they talked, they began to fall in love.  After so many years of waiting to find that special someone, they finally found each other. 

They planned an April wedding and Heather promised it would be casual.  She promised she would wear jeans.  So what should I, as a guest, wear?  I tried on several outfits and put on a jean skirt.  I asked my husband’s opinion.  “I think it’s cute,” I said. 

“It.  Is. Cute.”  He actually hates the word cute because he’s been called that word too often in his life.  It was at that point that I realized I was trying way too hard.  Wearing that particular skirt, I looked like a reject from the cast of the musical “Oklahoma.”  It was a wonderful relief to truly realize that this wasn’t about me.  I could show respect for this event by wearing jeans and a jacket.  The bride would be pleased.

We traveled to the barn where the wedding would be held.  This barn was so old it was in the historical register.  024The bride and groom greeted people as they entered the barn.  Then for the ceremony, the couple entered from a side door and sat with the rest of the guests as the minister read scripture.  Heather and Tom only stood as they repeated their vows.  And both of them wept.  As the rest of us did. 

Most times, a wedding is almost a show.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  It can be beautiful.  But this time, it really was an anti-show.  A humbling joining of two people who had waited so very long to find that special someone.  And I was humbled to witness the joining.

Other than your own wedding, can you remember the wedding that most moved you?  Share. 

Much love,


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21 Responses to The Anti-Show Wedding

  1. Cindy Gerard says:

    What a wonderful story Leanne. Storybook romance, story book wedding because it was so unique. I got teary-eyed just reading it.
    Most weddings I’ve attended have been pretty traditional. Most moving would be our son’s. What a joy to see him so happy with the woman of his dreams – and the daughter in law of our dream :o)

  2. michelehauf says:

    Weddings always make me cry! Especially the part where they say their vows. It can either be a beautiful thing, or a ‘do they know what they are getting into?’ thing. Hee.

  3. Irene says:

    There have been hippie weddings in fields, back yards, front yards, forests, on the beach, in Florida, in Maine, in cathedrals and by the ol’ fishin’ hole. There were bugs and bad smells and sand in the face and more bugs. A casual cat trippin’ by. Full nuptual masses do not make a couple any more married than the ones on top of the hill somewhere. It’s the love the couple shares that makes the wedding wonderful. I have never been really moved by any wedding. I do wish this couple a wonderful life together. May they always know love.

  4. loisgreiman says:

    What a great story. My cousin’s wedding really moved me because the couple was so moved. But their marriage only lasted a few years. Gotta admit, I don’t really know what makes a marriage work. One would think I would have figured it out after 30 years.

  5. What a beautiful story, Lois. And what a perfect, beauitful wedding for them. My favorite weding was long ago. A tall, gangly woman with a heart of gold became a part of my family when my brother and I were young. She babysit for us, became a part of all our family gatherings. My mom met her when both were nurses at the old Glen Lake TB Sanitorium in Minnesota, and Velma eventully became my brother’s godmother. She was a true spinster–had never dated as far as we knew. lived in the nurses building at the San. And then–when she was about to retire, and would have been all alone without a job to keep her busy, she fell in love with Ernest. She was so giddy, just like a teenager when showing us her ring, and she was so in love with him! They had a lovely home together for many years, until they passed away. I was always happy that this good and caring woman finally had her dreams come true.

    • Leanne says:

      Roxanne, what a wonderful story! Thank you so much for sharing it! Velma sounds like someone we would all root for. I’m glad she found her Ernest.<3

  6. Kathleen O says:

    This is so lovely and I wish they well.. I think the most of the weddings I have been to are memorable.. But he three weddings I most loved where my two cousins, of which I was bridesmaed at both and my one cousins daughters wedding.. As I watched all three of these couples get married, I truely saw how much they were in love as they said thier vows to one antoher and they have lived them. My oldest cousin was almost 35 yrs married when her husband passed away two month before thier 35th, my yougest cousin and her Husband will be married 22 yrs in September and my oldest cousin’s daughter just celebrated on Saturday her 12th wedding Anniversary. It is not the place where the ceramony takes place or all the pomp and cirucumstance it is the people who are standing before their family and friends and pledging to live and love together… Oh how I have always wanted this, but it has eluded me…

    Thanks so much for sharing with us the joy of these two poeple…

  7. Leanne says:

    Kathleen, what wonderful stories. It sounds like your family comes from a long line of long-time lovers. I’m so glad you got to be a part of the weddings and your cousins’ lives. I’m sure they are thrilled that you are a part of their lives. And I’m going to wish you happiness regardless of your romantic circumstances. You deserve it! xo

  8. debradixon says:

    Leanne– That’s a great story. I love folks who are comfortable enough that they plan their ceremony, their way without a lot of fuss. i’m not much of a “fuss girl.” But I also see your dilemma! The in-between dressing. Not too casual but not too dressy. Comfortable but not sloppy!

  9. kylie brant says:

    I think the most emotional weddings for me are those of my children, for obvious reasons. But my sister’s second wedding was on the banks of the McKenzie River. She wore flowers in her hair and the reception was in open air tents on the site. It was so *her* it was just lovely.

  10. Leanne says:

    Debra, it really was a wonderful experience. And yes to my dilemma. I wanted to be respectful!

  11. Aw, Leanne, what a lovely story. My cowboy would have loved getting married in a barn!

    My daughter’s wedding moved me the most, and not just because she’s our only daughter and I’m her mom, but it brought the Eagles together with the East Coast Piersons–most of whom had never met.

    One of the most beautiful weddings I’ve attended was Betina’s son’s. The lighting in the church was magical. And, again, bringing friends and family together–some there in body and those you knew were there in spirit. Very moving.

    • Leanne says:

      Kathleen, how wonderful that your daughter’s wedding brought so many together. And cool for the magical lighting for Betina’s son’s wedding. What a gift those experiences are!<3

  12. My niece married some years ago. As she walked down the aisle, I watched the groom watching her. He cried. Not big boo boos, but tears filled his eyes and slid down his face. Of course that made me cry.

  13. Leanne says:

    Connie, I have to believe that in his heart, he had waited and wanted and now your niece was his miracle of love. What a lovely memory. Thank you for sharing!!! xo

  14. It may not be moving but my all time fave was the bride who didn’t carry flowers, she carried her baby instead. I was moved. To snicker.

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