Make ‘Em Laugh…or something

It probably comes as no surprise that I love a good quote. As you may know, at the beginning of each chapter of my mystery series, I write a little dialogue from someone in Chrissy’s crazy universe. It’s been one of the most entertaining things about writing the series, and in so doing I’ve really learned to appreciate a well-turned phrase. I make most of them up and attribute them to one of my fictional characters, but occasionally I’ll find a timeless little tidbit from a real life person and use that. I’ve enjoyed this process so much, that when I decided to give Chrissy her own facebook page (thanks for the suggestion Leanne, you’re a genius) I’ve continued with the quotes. Not everyday, of course. I mean, there has to be room for pics of under-dressed men with fuzzy animals and smart *ss remarks about the world at large, but now and then I’ll come across a fun little zinger that I need to share. Here are a few of my recent favorites:

“Hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” Author unknown

“A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.”

Bill Cosby

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

Jim Carrey

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”

Mae West

“Go to Heaven for the climate. Hell for the company.”
Mark Twain

“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”

Erma Bombeck

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

Fred Allen

“I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.”

Will Rogers

“My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”
Mike Myers

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”

George Burns

So how about you? Heard anything lately that tickled your funny bone or made you think things you’d never thunk before?

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14 Responses to Make ‘Em Laugh…or something

  1. CateS says:

    I never said most of the things I said.
    Yogi Berra

  2. Kathleen O says:

    If the going get’s tough, the tough go shopping..
    Not sure who said this but It always gives me a smile

  3. Laney4 says:

    My dad used to say, “Don’t let your dingle/Dangle in the sand/Wrap it up in tissue paper/Hold it in your hand.” When I Googled it to find the source, I couldn’t find it, but I found others…. “Don’t let your dingle/Dangle in the south/Whip it out and dingle dangle/All in her mouth.” YICK! Then there was: “Don’t let your dingle/Dangle in the dirt/Put it in your pocket/Where it won’t get hurt/If you have no pocket/Put it in your shirt/But never let your dingle dangle/In the dirt.” Oh my!

  4. Hellion says:

    One of my favorite quips is by George Carlin: “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

  5. Leanne says:

    An apple a day keeps anyone away if thrown hard enough.:) Fun topic, Lois!:)

  6. “It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.”
    ― Stephen Colbert

    If you saw his show last night, whether you’re liberal or conservative, you gotta love a man who shows his love for his mom the way he did. He let us know all we needed to know without going into detail, and he got the message across to her in a personal way. Beautiful! If you missed it, go to the website. You’ll laugh while your heart sings.

  7. loisgreiman says:

    It’s just really nice right now to hear from people who appreciate people like Colbert and Carlin when there’s so much crazy political yammering going on that scares the bejeezus out of me.

  8. Kylie Brant says:

    Just saw one on Facebook last night that I sent on to my hubby who was out of town: I looked hot today. You missed it 🙂

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