V-Day Giveaway and What’s Your Love Language

What’s the best expression of love? I’ve been debating this lately because I write romantic fiction, because Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and because…well…I’m female. But the answer is not a simple one. Everyone thinks a little differently. In fact, there have been entire books devoted to this.

In The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman tells us there are several unique ways to express love. Here’s a summary:

·         Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

·         Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

·         Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

·         Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

·         Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Here’s a link if you’d like to take a 30 question quiz: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

So what’s your love language? How about that special person in your life? Is his entirely different? Is it time to learn to speak HIS language?

To celebrate the release of the print version of Uncorked, I’m giving away this cute little heart shaped necklace with matching earrings. If you’d like to enter the drawing, just leave a comment and I’ll throw your name in the hat.


(Drawing to be announced here at Riding on February 14th.)


Visit Chrissy on Facebook just for fun http://www.facebook.com/ChrissyMcMullenMysteries


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20 Responses to V-Day Giveaway and What’s Your Love Language

  1. Cindy Gerard says:

    I love this post, Lois. And I love the 5 ways of expression you listed. Touch is so important. I love getting and giving hugs (sorry Michele LOL). It’s that human contact, the warmth, the solidity, the gift of giving a little of one’ self that makes hugs so special
    Congratulations on the release of Uncorked! Can’t wait to read it.

  2. CrystalGB says:

    Congratulations on the print release of UnCorked! I have read Mr. Chapman’s book. It is a good read. Thanks for the giveaway.

  3. Annie says:

    Wonderful book and giveaway. thanks for this great post which includes so many important facets. Quality time is what is meaningful and simple and kind gestures make a big difference.

  4. loisgreiman says:

    Thanks Crystal. My son and his wife both studied 5 love languages and really found it helpful.

  5. loisgreiman says:

    Thanks for stopping in, Annie. I’ve found that I am most grateful for verbal affirmation. Total surprise to me.

  6. michelehauf says:

    Erm…yeah, I got nothing.


  7. I love to give gifts–receiving is a nice bonus but not as much fun for me–but build me a deck or surprise me with a scrubbed floor and my heart is yours.

    My dear daughter is a wonderful gift giver. No one can match her. But she’s hurt if they don’t at least try.

  8. loisgreiman says:

    Gifts….nice. Do none of us romance people prefer touch?

  9. Nancy Northcott says:

    Lois, what an interesting post! I think my language is quality time, and the dh’s is acts of service. But we’re both touchers, too. Hmm. Maybe we need to take this quiz together.

  10. catslady says:

    Little acts of service always get to me (of course so do the other 4 too lol). I actually didn’t learn hugging until later on. My ancestors are all Sicilian and I guess when my mom was young the squeezing and the hugging and the kissing was overdone to the point that she shyed away from it all (old women kissing on the lips etc lol).

  11. Hellion says:

    *LOL* I read all these and was like, “I’m ALL these things! I’m needy on every level!” *LOL*

    I took the quiz though. It says I prefer Quality Time best (I do like having undivided attention. I’d rather not be bothered with at all than be treated like something to check off your list.), but words of affirmation ran a very close second.

    But touching and gifts also ranked high; and dangit, I do notice when the “small things” are done for me. The non-romantic practical things that make me feel taken care of.

    Maybe we need them all, in balance. *LOL*

  12. kylie brant says:

    For my dh it’s all about undivided attention. That’s why he loves our yearly vacation…it’s all about him, all the time, LOL 🙂 No distractions, I’m not being tugged in twenty different directions. For me…he already does it all. He’s good at household chores, he does the little thoughtful things like charge my phone and put it back in my purse (I never remember), gas up my vehicle…those are the things that count, for me.

  13. NL Gassert says:

    Acts of Service and Touch 🙂 My family is only now starting to get the idea that gifts are really not what I’m after. Do something nice for me instead. Eventually they’ll get it … Btw, I love using the love languages for characters as well – so much room for conflict and discovery.


  14. loisgreiman says:

    Nancy, I’m with you. We should probably all take the quiz with our ‘others.’

  15. loisgreiman says:

    Catslady. 🙂 Lip kissing from anonymous persons!! Yikes!

  16. loisgreiman says:

    LOL. I’m needy too. In all ways.

  17. loisgreiman says:

    Oooooh Nadja, fantastic idea for characters! I never thought of that.

  18. Chelsea B. says:

    I’ve never fallen in love, so I have yet to learn my love language 🙂

  19. TRACIE says:

    I am still looking for that special someone that speaks the same language of love that I do. To-date it seems that those I’ve tried to converse with speak a foreign language. I have not given up and I am not against being in a multi-lingual relationship. 🙂

  20. Quilt Lady says:

    I guess acts of service is my gift of love, because I am always cooking and cleaning, not sure hubbly looks at it as acts of love though. Congrats on your book.

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