Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Everyone knows that love will make you do crazy things. Here’s a for instance:
A while ago a friend of mine, we’ll call her C., met the man of her dreams at the business where she was the receptionist. I blogged about her situation back then. She had just been in a car accident and was still a little under the weather when he came into her office building. Turns out he had been in a much worse accident months before. They began comparing notes, at which time she got a little light headed…and ended up swooning in his arms moments later.

They began dating the next week.

Fast forward a few months to when they started having some relationship problems…as all couples do. A little discouraged, C. went out to dinner with me and a couple of our girlfriends. While there she mentioned that it would be so nice if they  could forget all the negativity and difficulties and start over. She wanted to pretend they had never met and be able to have a fresh beginning. As her friends, I’m afraid we  just kind of kept shoving chips in our mouths and mumbling agreements around our various flavored margaritas.

But the funny thing is, that’s exactly what she did. That very night, after dinner, she drove to his house and waited for him to return from work. When he exited his car, she approached him and said, “I’m not a stalker or anything. But I saw you at the gas station and I liked the way you looked. I was just wondering if you would want to have dinner sometime.”

She said there were a couple of seconds of dumbfounded silence…and then he totally played along. Apparently the following role-acting lasted the entire night. Their time together was fun and relaxing and gave her an opportunity to see their situation from an entirely different angle.

Odd, right? Like something you might read (or write) in a romance novel. But here’s the oddest part. Two days later, on a Tuesday night, they got married. Without telling anyone. Just up and said their vows before a pastor who happened to be their mutual friend.

So, what do you think? Crazy? Smart? Romantic? Should we always go into relationships with our eyes wide open or is it sometimes a good idea just to take a leap of faith?

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21 Responses to Crazy Little Thing Called Love

  1. It is definitely a set-up for a romance novel. BUT the dating/courting/lust part of an early relationship will fade over time. Marriage is hard work. I think the love between a couple has to grow and evolve with the changes that happen in our lives. I don’t know it what they did was crazy or terribly romantic. Only time will tell but honestly I hope they made it. I love stories of second chances at love.

  2. Betina says:

    WP just ate my thoughtfully worded comment. sigh. Well, to recap:

    The reason for the difficulty in their relationship is probably the key. If it was something deep– about trust, say, or core values like honesty– then this “fix” wouldn’t work for long. But if it’s about something like communication styles or restlessness or just aneed for a change-up, this could totally work.

    I’m a big fan of the leap of faith approach. Reason can only take you so far in life– then to make something good happen, you have to hop in with both feet and take a chance. Risking it all is part of the human survival stragety, believe it or not. And most of the time, the risk pays off– because we usually make plans with the facts in mind.

    She must have had a hunch that this gambit might work with him and he was smart enough to pick up on what she was doing and why. So they were both ready for a nudge and made the leap.

    God Bless Them! May they have many happy years together!

  3. lois greiman says:

    Cynthia, it’s been a fun journey to watch. They’re a beautiful adorable couple. But they both have children and the mixing makes it tricky.

    I hope they make it too. They deserve happiness.

  4. lois greiman says:

    Betina, it’s often very hard to get to the root of the problem, isn’t it? There are so many emotions that come into play in personal relationships.

  5. kylie brant says:

    You lost me at the chips and margaritas 🙂 I’m a little concerned about the relationship problems…as others have said, those will have to be addressed at some point. Marriage is damn hard work. Frankly I was a little appalled when I got married that he was just *there* all the time, LOL. It was an adjustment. Personally I think we should have eased into it by renting places next door to each other for the first year .

    That said, marriage *is* a leap of faith. My daughter, the ultimate commitment phobe asked me ‘but how do I KNOW he’s the one?” Friends had told her ‘you just know’ and ‘when your knees get weak around him’ and ‘when you can’t imagine your life without him’. Knowing she shares my un-romantic view of things I flat out told her, you don’t know. Not for sure. You take things slow, know him well…and still it’s a leap of faith to take that final step.

    I’m still leaping after 34 years of marriage, LOL 🙂

  6. Leanne Banks says:

    Here, here to what Kylie said. All of it. Being appalled that “he was just THERE all the time.”lol And yes, the need to leap never ever goes away. I hope your friend and her husband can “make” their happiness.<3

  7. Hellion says:

    Can’t it both “eyes wide open” and a “leap of faith”? You know it’s not going to be perfect all the time, but you take the chance that the good moments are going to outweigh the bad.

    Sounds crazy and romantic and exactly something out of a book. I hope it works out for them!

  8. Hellion says:

    Frankly I was a little appalled when I got married that he was just *there* all the time, LOL. It was an adjustment. Personally I think we should have eased into it by renting places next door to each other for the first year .

    I’ve never even been married and I agree wholeheartedly with this.

  9. loisgreiman says:

    Kylie…right??!! They’re so BIG and PRESENT and LOOMY. What does one do when big present and loomy retires??? Holy cats!!

  10. michelehauf says:

    Oh, how I agree with the ‘being there all the time’ thing! Ha! But that’s a post all it’s own, right? And yes, when they retire, they’ll just be there and there and there.
    That is a strangely romantic story, Lois, and who knows, it could work swell.

  11. OH yeah on the “him being there ALL the time!” I remember standing in the shower and crying my eyes out every night for the first 6 weeks of marriage. Stress release. That was 27 years ago. I guess that worked for me! 🙂

    And it wasn’t JUST him always being underfoot, it was moving to another house, adapting to his work schedule, adapting to his dog and parrot, selling my house, etc etc etc. Just so much stress when settling in to a new setting.

  12. kylie brant says:

    Holy cow, Lois, you’ve hit on my nightmare! DH is talking about taking early retirement in a couple years and I have made it clear that first he needs to get a hobby. One that does not involve me, LOL. He just comes and stands at my chair and stares at me. It’s creepy 🙂 and hard to get any writing done!

  13. Cindy Gerard says:

    You guys are all so funny! I love this story about your friend Lois. And as an incurable romantic I am CONFIDENT that it will work for them.
    As for looming husbands – mine retired in April. It’s been an adjustment but I love it. Someone to share the cooking chores and the housework. Kind of like having a live in maid LOL But I would NEVER tell him that …

  14. Lori says:

    I love Kylie’s comment. All except the “you don’t know” piece. I knew as soon as I saw my hubby. We were 18. Now we’re 46.

    BUT. It is damn hard work and requires a ton of communication. I like your story, Lois, because it shows they each are open minded and are willing to let bygones be bygones. A definite must in a marriage. I wish them a happy future together.

  15. Jan Hudson says:

    One summer semester in college, a friend talked me into a blind double date. I wasn’t enthusiastic, but I finally agreed. As I walked down the stairs of the dorm that night, HE looked up at me and grinned. I muttered, “Oh, sh**!” I knew I was going to marry him. I knew. I started to turn around and go back upstairs. I didn’t want to get married; I was going to be a career woman. Besides, I had a hunky boyfriend who was off working for the summer. I sighed and went to meet my fate. He proposed the following night. Because he was in the army, I only saw him 15 times before we married on Christmas Eve. We’ve been married more years that I admit as being my age. (Makes one wonder about past lives and karma, doesn’t it?)

  16. I always thought it was a good idea to go into a relationship with my eyes wide open but I threw that idea out the door when I met my husband. We had only been dating for 6wks when we eloped.The first year was difficult since we were still getting to know each other but we persevered. When people hear our story, they always asked- “how did you know?”. I just say we didn’t know but we knew that we wanted to be together and we try very hard to make our marriage work. Whatever we have been doing, I just hope it keeps on working. We just celebrated 17yrs together so I am very thankful that I took the leap of faith.

  17. I dunno if you can call this love at first sight…considering I met him when I was 11, but the first time I saw my guy, I felt a giddy little shiver. he was 14. He was friends with my older brother. Three years later, the summer I was turned 15, he came over looking for my brother, and I started teasing (flirting) with him and asking him how come he never came to see me. (I’d been mooning over him for 3 years)

    He looks at me and says, “I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

    A few days later, he called me about watching the 4th of July fireworks with him. Then we went out to see Robin Hood Prince of Thieves a few weeks later.

    We started dating that summer and we’ve been together ever sine…we’ve been together for 20 years now, married for 15 years. And I still have that funny little shiver when I look at him. I guess I probably do believe in love at first sight… but keeping a marriage together takes more than just love…it takes work.

  18. Jennifer says:

    I don’t think it makes the slightest difference how long two people know each other before they marry. They’ll make it if they both decide they’re going to. That’s it. Both people have to be determined to work through anything (whatever life throws at them, in addition to each ones personal issues) and never, ever give up. They have to know, deep in their hearts, that it IS worth it, no matter how things seem at the time. Because there are more good times ahead that are worth struggling for.

    Lucky me, after twenty years I’m in a long stretch of good times! We sure did struggle for them, though…

  19. Coming to the party late. IMO, in our society relationships come together through a mix of fate, pheromones, eventually a giant leap of faith. It’s hard to imagine getting into an arranged marriage. You might be missing the pheromones. Better living through chemistry.

    Lois, maybe your friend’s trip-up was no biggie, in which case they found a cool way to declare a truce. I’ll bet they’ll use it again from time to time, and they’ll laugh and move on.

  20. Christie Ridgway says:

    Lois, I find that story romantic and so sweet. I wish them the very best! I don’t know why some relationships work and some don’t. I don’t think a long thought-out courtship necessarily predicts success.

    In the book I’m writing, the hero sees the heroine (he expects her to be 10, she’s twenty-something) and he’s hit, hard. I don’t think it can be called love, but there is a recognition right away. A strong possibility?

    I felt that way with Surfer Guy.

    In our books (and probably IRL) that same recognition can engender an instant hostility. It may not be the right time for romance or the person has reason to be afraid of intimacy. But either way, that spark is there!

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