When you reach a certain age in life– and I’m not saying I have, I’m just speculatin’ on what I see these days– it seems a lot of life centers around your own belly button. Sad, but true. You become obssessed with your bodily functions and making everything work as though you were still 22. I became aware of this because a couple of close relatives have developed major chronic conditions (diabetes) and now have decided to remake the world in their personal remedy’s image.
C’mon, everybody has one or two of these in their lives. Maybe it’s not a relative, maybe it’s a close co-worker. But odds are, somebody is making you nuts with information and opinions intended to make you healthier. Like them.
Fiber now haunts by every waking moment. My sister has decided this is the panacea to life’s problems. And on the internet, she has discovered a cornucopia of new things to try in order to add more fiber to “our” diets. Flax seed meal/flour. Almond flour. Soy flour. Coconut flour. Yes, somebody dries and mills coconuts into a powdery flour for use in. . . well, whatever a body would like to try. As a result I’m eating sad-looking breads that didn’t quite rise right, cookies that look like something from an evil witch’s private stock, and chewing stuff at breakfast that would make cows turn their nose up.
But I’m getting FIBER. Which, in my sister’s world, nullifies all carbs and most of the calories. I should be healthier. But in fact, I am constipated. I am also tired of spending an extra five to ten minutes each morning just trying to chew my food. And since sodium has joined “carbs” on the evil list, most of the stuff that comes my way is bland on top of it.
To combat the blandness, Pool Boy has decided to turn up the heat. He now puts Cayenne hot sauce on everything. Do you have any idea what hot sauce on steel cut oaks tastes like first thing in the morning? Ewwww. In his defense, he got the idea from a nurse friend who encouraged us to try a special diet to lose weight. It centered around a soup that was full of peppers, black pepper, and hot sauce. Try eating that for breakfast for seven days.
So I’m eating more and enjoying it less. Yes, I do tell them NO, and they keep offering and insisting and eventually I wear down and take a bite. Once hooked, I am then loaded down with things to take home for snacks and “to have with coffee.”
I am starting to dread my beloved morning coffee. And it’s not enough that I try these things– I have to ENJOY them. They are, after all, for my own good.
So I have decided on a fairly unusual and fairly risky strategy. Honesty.
I will no longer eat stuff I don’t recognize. And if it tastes like pig slop, I will say I don’t like the way it tastes. And I won’t be eating it again. Sorry, all of you who love me and want me to have lower cholesterol and a shinier coat. I’ve decided to go it on my own. The good news is, when I find my own miracle cure– I’ll refrain from insisting you use it and love it, too.
Whew. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Got anything –health adive-wise that makes you nuts? What’s your favorite “healthy” pet peeve? Who’s monitoring your intake and pushing you (kicking and screaming) toward better health?