I mean, come on, ya gotta love ’em. And now that I’m writing my seventh Chrissy McMullen mystery I love them more than ever. If you’ve read any of my Chrissy books you know that each chapter begins with one of my characters’ little maxims. And since one of my fictional folks is a creepy but kind of lovable nerd I find myself spending waaaaay too much time searching for ridiculous come-ons. Here are a few he would really appreciate:
I’m no Fred Flintstone but I’ll make your bed rock.
I lost my number. Can I have yours.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put you and I together.
I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!
You’ve been a naughty girl. Go to my room.
Is that top felt? No? Would you like it to be?
Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
I’m not really this tall….I’m sitting on my wallet.
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.
You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!
I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
I’ll bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.
Didn’t I see your name in the dictionary under “Shazaam!”?
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you’ve got a great set of buns.
My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anywhere you like.
You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.
I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but… I’m Batman!
When God made you, he was showing off.
Here I am. What were your other two wishes?
You look so fine I could drink your bath water!
Girl, if I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the shit!
You’re so beautiful I’d marry your brother just to get into your family.
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
This isn’t a beer belly, It’s a fuel tank for a love machine.
Are your parents retarded, ’cause you sure are special.
So how about you? Hear any great pick-up lines lately? Do share.