The Resocialization of Michele

The big RWA conference is in little over a month in NY.  I can’t wait!  It’s been almost ten years since I’ve gone to a conference.  I’m already starting to get ready.  Because seriously? I’ve got a lot of work to do.  You see, I don’t get out much.  I shall present my case below:

I need clothing. Writers who work full-time from home have no need for fancy clothes. We wear them ragged, if we wear them at all (pajamas all day, anyone?). You don’t even want to see my delicates. Elastic gets crumbly after a few ages.  It’s not pretty. So I need to buy some big-girl clothes, something I can wear while talking to adults and actually look like I’m an adult, too. And shoes, dear lord, I don’t think I can get buy with flip-flops.  I did pick up some pretty sparkly shoes the other day.  Now to wear them around the house to break them in.  The UPS guy should get a kick out of seeing me in my schlubby writer’s clothes and these fancy heels.

Makeup. I don’t wear it. But in order to, again, look like an adult, I must put on a little blush, at the very least.  Since I don’t wear it, every time I want to wear it, I need to buy new stuff.  Because the stuff in the medicine cabinet is over five years old.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Spend money on makeup, use it a few times, five year later, dump it (usually 95% full still), buy more.  Rinse and repeat.  Sigh…

Must buy deodorant.  I don’t use it. I’m not keen on putting all those chemicals right there on that thin, sensitive skin, and so close to my lymph nodes. But alas, I do wish to smell fresh and lovely, so I will succumb to chemical torture for the sake of everyone else’s noses.  🙂  [Seriously though, if you stop slathering that stuff on, you’ll find you only need it about a week out of every month. We humans don’t generally smell too bad. I use witch hazel usually.]

A…comb.  I know I own a comb. Just not sure where it is. I confess, I don’t own a curling iron or blow dryer. I just wash and go. Mornings I get up and give it a foof with my fingers, and I’m ready to rock. There are days I’m standing in line at the grocery store and I realize I haven’t combed my hair. It’s all good. Short hair rocks.  But I’m adding ‘comb’ to my shopping list.

A tan. I put on a pair of shorts for the first time in over ten years the other day, and now I know why I should not be allowed to show my legs. They are the whitest legs in the North. I swear it. If I’m going to look like an adult in my new clothes and makeup and with combed hair, I’d better get some color in these poor legs.  Does anyone wear nylons anymore?

I’ve got a lot of work to do before conference. Wish me luck.  Oh! I also have a new release out now, ROGUE ANGEL: THE OTHER CROWD written under the Alex Archer pseudonym.  I’ll give away a copy to one commenter who tells me what work they would have to do on themselves to fit in at a social event.  Or have you got it all together already?  😉


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19 Responses to The Resocialization of Michele

  1. cindygerard says:

    LOL Michele. Getting ready for RWA nationals does sort of make you feel like Cinderella getting ready for the ball – only without the fairygod mother to help. I have been recycling clothes for conference for years … and this year will be no exception.
    As for advice, when you’re looking for deodorant – reach for the unscented kind. RWA is a no perfume zone – too many people with allergies.

    And I can’t wait to see your sparkly shoes!!

  2. michele says:

    DOn’t worry, Cindy, I’m all about no scents. I’m one of those who gets a headache just catching a whiff of someone’s nasty perfume.
    Looking forward to seeing you and all the Riders at the conf!

  3. kris says:

    I wouldn’t say I have it together, but I do own a broad range of clothes. But, then again, I work in an office where “at my level” as my boss puts it, I must dress in appropriate business attire. So, even though I wear my flip flops on the train (with my business suit!) I have to put my heels on immediately on arrival. Outside of work, you will find me without make-up or jewelry, my hair in a ponytail, and my raggy sweats or shorts and a t-shirt with flip flops. I am not one to put an effort in my appearance, and sure, it definitely shows, but I just can’t seem to make myself care unless it is mandated!

    • michele says:

      Kris, don’t you think the women who actually appear less ‘made up’ seem to look the best anyway? That’s what I’m going with. People will think I spent so much time trying to look natural. Hee.

  4. Leanne Banks says:

    Hey Michele! Congrats on your new release!!!:) Getting ready for RWA can be challenging, that’s for sure. For me, I can’t help thinking about the psychology of color when I choose my clothes. And there’s also the matter of what I wore a few years ago may not fit this year!:/ And shoes. Choosing shoes is a real challenge because it would be fun to wear something pretty, but at conference you gotta be able to walk in them or your dogs are gonna be barking pretty fast! In a way, though it’s like playing dress up, and knowing that it’s temporary really helps! Can’t wait to see you.:)

  5. catslady says:

    I desperately need a haircut! My hairdresser of 20 years stopped practicing two years ago when there was a tragedy in her family and I haven’t found one I liked as much since. So I put it off and put it off. Last time (months ago) I got it cut my hair was in my eyes and drove me crazy. I was going to get it cut for an upcoming vacation but that fell through (sigh). I need another excuse to give someone else a try lol. (And I too am allergic to most scents (another sigh).

    • Catslady, I did the same thing. Waited to get a haircut until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Called and said it didn’t matter who cut it because the stylist, hairdresser (what’s the preferred term now?) I had been going to was no longer there. Once in the chair, I asked a very young beauty operator (that was Mama’s term) how long she’d been there. it was her 3d day. Asked her where she’s worked before. Said she just got out of school.
      Told her what I wanted, and she took our the razor. She took her time, was absolutely meticulous, and it’s probably the best haircut I’ve ever had.

    • michele says:

      Oh, Catslady, you had to mention hair cut, eh? 🙂 I’ve fallen in love with my colorist/stylist, and have been eagerly planning out my visits to coincide for optimal color at the conf. Well, she’s moved to another salon, that doesn’t use the same hair products. So my next visit is going to be wiht someone new. Aggh! I’ve been freaking about this too much.

  6. Linda Morgan says:

    I only wear flipflops, but I retired from AA so I fly free but have a dress code, which says no flipflops or beach attire and “no thongs of any kind”. It’s hard to know where straps between my toes change from beachwear to sandals. I have a cheap pr of sandals I take in case I get a gate agent who wants to be authoritative. I would have to get a haircut, a pedicure, lose 20 pounds and buy bigger clothing if I were going somewhere and had to be presentable. I have a small supply of cheap makeup that is less than 5 yrs old, but I so rarely wear it that I am not sure where it is. I hope you all have fun. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Didn’t we just have a discussion on judging books by their covers? I prefer plain brown wrapper. The Jergens tinted lotion works well for leg color btw.

    • michele says:

      I may have to go that route of using a tan lotion. I don’t think these pale white legs are going to take color (from the sun) too easily. Probably burn, then turn white again. Sigh…

  7. kylie brant says:

    Congrats on the new book, Michele! I’m looking forward to meeting you in person! Because I work outside the home I have to have five ‘tiers’ of clothing. First there’s the scruffy workout clothes I am in whenever I don’t have to go anywhere. Second, there’s my casual (jeans, sweaters) wear. Then there’s work wear for school. Then dressy stuff–parent / teacher conferences, weddings, daily conference wear. Finally there’s the party girl conference wear–cocktail dresses and long gowns.

    I usually buy a little each year but ‘recycle’ the formal wear about every three years. I mean, how many long gowns do I need???

    • michele says:

      Five tiers, wow! I don’t think my closet does tiers. But I do have some nice clothes. Just have to brush the dust off the shoulders because they get worn so infrequently. Seriously, clothes in a closet gets dusty. Whoda thought?

  8. Don’t worry, Michele. I saw you on Saturday, and I wanted to tell you how great you were looking. Love love love the hair! I didn’t see any need for makeup. But forget tanning! Your devotion to looking like the real you is a good thing, and the real you has lovely skin. It’s Michele skin. Stick with your natural color. If I were going to crusade against a thing women do seeking an element of style (not Strunk and White–they’re good) besides starving for skinny it would be tanning. Can we just see the beauty in our natural skin color, whatever it is? Use protection.

    Yes, someone–and maybe only some ONE–still wears panty hose when necessary. They serve more than one purpose on this someone.

    • michele says:

      I don’t like to tan, Kathy. In fact, I don’t. I avoid the sun, but seriously the face color is fine. YOu did not see my legs on Saturday. They would have blinded you. 🙂

      I love pantyhose for their ‘suck in’ qualities. But it seems like the world will scoff if we don them. Sigh…

  9. Keri Ford says:

    spray tan! and not some home job where you’ll be streaked and orange. check out different salons. my hairdressers does it for pretty cheap.

    And do it NOW, so if you don’t like it, there will be time for it to wear off before conference. And if you do like it, time to build it up to a nice glow.

    have fun!!! Ihate I’m not going this year. 😦

    • michele says:

      Yikes. Nothing scares me more than actually thinking about having to socialize with people, than to consider stripping nekkid and stepping into a booth to get tanner sprayed on my pale white skin. I think I’ll pass, but more power to anyone who has the ability to go through the process!

  10. Helen Brenna says:

    Oh, new sparkly shoes! Cool, Michele. I know you’ll clean up nicely! lol

  11. WyNtEr ApPlE says:

    i LOVE the rogue angel! i didnt know you was 1 of the authors, o you soo totally rock!
    they are 1 of my MUST HAVE and i KNOW they willbe a good read , exciting and thoughtful and very detailed . which i love ,i have got to start stalking you!

  12. WyNtEr ApPlE says:

    OOO forgot the question, im 1 of the ppl who gave up and dont give a hoot! lol i mioght put on makeup every 3 months

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