So I visited a torture chamber…

First off, Gail, your book really is coming!  I promise!  Although I’m still waiting for that meatloaf sandwich for breakfast.Smile

Back to the torture chamber  torture-chamber-733895    aka the gym.  Let’s get this straight.  I’m not a fan of exercise, sweat, or hurting myself.  I think endorphins are a big lie.  Or, they seem to be a big lie for me.  And I trained for and walked a half-marathon a few years ago, so I had plenty of opportunity to feel those so-called endorphins. 

All that said, I have a sedentary career and must get off my backside and just move a little more.  There was a deal at my husband’s gym, so he joined for me at the end of November.  But I was on deadline until mid-January, so I didn’t even GO peek at the place.  I peeked last week.  Literally walked into the gym and looked at the machines and big screen tvs and the torture exercise equipment, also glanced at the pool.  I left before even going to the second floor.  Others mocked me, but I considered this an important step.

I get three complimentary session with a trainer.  After my first two, I’ve concluded that I would have to be into S&M to engage the services of a trainer. Do you know it’s more expensive to have one session with a trainer than to visit the dentist or dermatologist?  And your teeth aren’t clean after leaving the gym.  Just sayin’.  Trainers appear to WANT you to feel pain.  I already know that if I’m in pain then I’m not going to exercise.  I need to go v-e-r-y slowly.  The first day I was assessed.  BMI was okay, everything else was crap, especially my body fat percentage.  Hey, I’ve always told people I have an inner fat chick screaming to get out.  Unfortunately, she’s made some progress during the last few years.  During the second session with the trainer, I was put on an elliptical, ski machine, two bikes, and a full resistance training circuit.  After that, I got on a treadmill and watched a morning show while I sweated.

I took a break today and will try to go back and do “something” tomorrow or Friday.  This fitness stuff is not my fave at all, but I have to give it a good try.   (I still haven’t made it up to the second floor.  I’m chicken.)  Are you doing any exercise stuff?  What works for you?  Do you experience endorphins?  Or do you think they are a big fat lie?


Leanne, who would much rather be sitting on a Caribbean beach sipping “Cayman Lemonade”.  imagesCACARQXO  How to make it?  1.5 oz vodka, 1 oz. light rum, 1 oz. Peach Schnapps, 4 oz. sweet and sour mix, 2 oz. cranberry juice.  Fill a highball glass half full of ice, add everything and stir.  It’s pink and will help you forget all about that nasty exercise trainer!

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32 Responses to So I visited a torture chamber…

  1. Kylie Brant says:

    Oooh, Leanne, thanks for the drink recipe. That looks fab!

    Yes, I exercise 😦 but working full time makes it more difficult than it should be to schedule. I go to Curves for Women (something you might find more to your liking) but also go to nautilus at the Y because I think I need more strength conditioning than Curves gives me. Three times a week I try to use the treadmill. BUT…I have been an absolute sloth since school started and have to get back to hitting it hard to ready for the beach in March!

  2. leannebanks says:

    So, Kim! Just curious. On your average week, how often do you leave your comfortable home to subject yourself to exercise? You have my admiration for your efforts!

  3. Leanne, you’re an inspiration. I’m beating myself up these days over not exercising, and the beatings aren’t getting me anywhere. My life’s mantra–As Soon As I Finish This Book–isn’t getting my body anywhere. We belong to the Y. Why am I not using it? Habit. That’s where I live. New mantra: out with the bad habit–in with the good. And, yes, I do know from experience that once I get into the habit, I’ll get addicted to endorphins.

    • leannebanks says:

      Kathleen, I did head that what you do with exercise will spill over into other stuff, so I’m hoping it will help me with sleep and writing. Just got back from another visit.

  4. MIchele says:

    I joined a gym a few years ago. It was part of a secret shopping assignment, so I got it for free. I will never return to a gym. Ever. It’s the germs that get me. I didn’t want to touch anything. Eww. And the showers. More ewwness.

    I should work out more. Heck, I should work out. Period. I have one of those Tony Little Gliders that I try to use every day while watching Dr. Oz. I feel so good after having glided a half a hour. It must be endorphins. But I forget that good feeling an hour later, and never want to exercise again. 🙂

    • leannebanks says:

      MIchelle, I don’t like the germs either. I even asked my husband to get gloves for me to wear so I won’t get gym cooties. He got the wrong kind, but I use hand cleaner the second I leave the gym. I also have no intention of going into the showers. I also use the spray cleaner the gym provides after I do my teensey work-out.:)

  5. Betina says:

    Michele, I have one of those Tony Little Gliders, too! And I like it! So quiet compared to other equipment. One of these days I’ll be fit enough to use it again. It’s a great indoor alternative to my favorite expercise. I’m a walker. I’ll walk miles with no complaint, even in the heat. I prefer to do it outside, but I can use the glider as an alternative when the weather’s bad. But I do have to make time for it, and lately, I’ve had a lot on my plate. Also The Pool Boy got me a big blue ball that I love; one of those you sit on and do stretches and balance things and roll up and down to a prone position to strengthen core muscles. I have a small dog, and though at first she eyed it a lot. . . I guess she’s not that ambitious, lol. I have a friend who owns a lab and a husky. . . who has lost three of those exercise balls to them. I guess they double team it, chomp down, and pow– it’s gone!

    Have a great day!

    • leannebanks says:

      lol on the dogs with the exercise ball! I like to walk too, but not in extreme weather and unfortunately we’ve hit both extremes this year. Three things I like about this gym’s treadmills are: 1.they have FANS!!!:) 2.They have TVs!:) 3.They force you to vary your pace and incline.

  6. Kristine says:

    Ha, ha! I loved the ending to this blog!!! 🙂 As for working out, I was a gym rat for the past two years but started tapering off the past couples of months. My membership is set to renew next month, and I don’t think I’m going to do it. I need to stay in shape, of course, but to be honest I am totally and completely burned out with going. In regards to endorphines, I am with you as well b/c for the last few months I noticed I felt worse on the days I worked out. I mean down right bad. And not a worn out kind, but an I-feel-like-death kind. My skin was yucky. I was always painfully tired. It was weird b/c I took vitamins and did everything within reason to be energetic and well. As Christmas approached I got lazy with both kids out of school and have not worked out since, and I feel good. I actually feel healthier lately, more happy and more relaxed. Strange, but true. So, I think I’m resigning myself to walking and the occasional yoga session. If I should balloon up, I’ll drag myself back into the “torture chamber”; but until then… life is short, and I am willing to chance it to enjoy myself a lil’ bit more! Too bad you don’t live closer, Leanne. Then, we could start a group where we all show up in gym clothes to drink and make others THINK we are exercising!!!

    • leannebanks says:

      Kristine, I LOVE your idea for a “special” gym group!lol I’ve tried yoga and I like it, but I think I’m sometimes too independent for a class. You won’t catch me in zumba. I am resolved not to work too hard at this.:)

      • Kristine says:

        Leanne, I have done classes but prefer yoga from home. Jennifer Kries has really great dvds. She’s very zen, not all bubble gum pop-ish like the Denise Austin types… who make working out even more exhausting ;))))) Kries offers pilates and other dance type routine, too. Very relaxing for a work out.

  7. lois greiman says:

    I’m with Betina, really like to hike outside. Running…not so much with the liking…but it does make me feel all macho. So that’s what I do…all year round, all weather, trudging through wind hail and snowdrifts…a couple miles or so walking, maybe a mile running. I do add a few stretches and cals in the morning so my poor old body doesn’t creak so much.

  8. Kylie Brant says:

    My aim is three times a week to do Curves/nautilus. I have a tread mill and like to hit that three times a week, too. MUCH easier to stick to when I’m not working, however. I’m lucky to get to exercise twice a week and on the treadmill twice a week while I’m teaching.

  9. Kylie Brant says:

    Oh, and I am considering adding yoga in to my exercise regime. I think we can sort of beat ourselves up in the gym and yoga is supposed to be great for toning. Haven’t quite figured out where to put it in the schedule, though.

    On the other hand, weight strengthening is needed for bone strength and that’s something I’m struggling with. It’s hard to fit it all in!

  10. My torture chamber is in my home. And I force myself to get off my #$%@ to exercise. Yesterday I did the Wii, the day before was my bowling day. I walk on the threadmill, but it’s not fun and I don’t feel any endorphins, but I never wish I hadn’t after I’ve done it. We write, therefore we sit! A lot and I need to move more. Sunday we’re (the family) is playing flag football in the park. I hope I don’t kill myself, but it’ll be great exercise!!

    Take care, Leanne!

    • leannebanks says:

      Charlene, you’re such a good exerciser. I think where you live helps too because the weather is often so nice. Flag football could be fun. It might take my mind off the fact that I’m not sitting down…:) Thanks for popping in sweetie!<3

  11. MIchele says:

    Oh, Betina, I have the big ball too! It’s green. But I scared myself out of using it a while back when I laid on it with my back and rolled all the way back so my head was hanging almost to the floor. All the blood rushed to my head. I got up quickly. I think I joggled my brain, because I felt woozy and sick the rest of the day. 🙂 I have a tender brain, and mustn’t joggle it too much. So I try not to hang upsidedown.

    • leannebanks says:

      MIchele, you sound a bit like me. The trainer kept telling me I needed to challenge myself. I told her the fact that I was there meant I was challenging myself! I have one of those balls too. I don’t like

  12. cindy gerard says:

    first of all Leanne – your post is hysterical. I grinned all the way through it. Second – everything everyone says I agree with. like to walk, hate to excerise. HATE. IT. and it shows. If, however, I spent as much time exercising every day as I do beating myself up for NOT exercising, I’d be the picture of toned and healthy.
    haven’t given up on myself yet though. soon. very soon, I’m going to get in shape. Really. maybe….

    • leannebanks says:

      Cindy, I’m happy to know I amused you. I actually don’t beat myself up over not exercising that much. I’ve kinda “owned” it. HOWEVER, if I spent as much time exercising every day as I spend whining, complaining and avoiding it, I would be a lot more toned and healthy… as long as I didn’t overdo.

  13. Kylie Brant says:

    Those big balls are great for doing sit-ups without hurting your back or neck. I do a hundred a day. And before you tell me what an exercise goddess I am you should *look* at me. Ack. It’s not pretty. Maintenance after a certain age is a bi***!

  14. susan wilson says:

    You got me with the cocktail! It looks fab and I want it now!

  15. Helen Brenna says:

    Okay, I’ll admit it … I love to exercise! LOL And I do feel endorphins. I know this because I get a bit of a high after working out and I get, er, crabby when I don’t work out.

    That said, I’ve only worked out 3 times since Thanksgiving – shows you how this deadline is kicking my butt and how crabby I’ve been! – and my back is actually feeling a bit better. That tells me I was doing something wrong with my workouts, but I will NEVER give up working out. Just need to adjust thing.

    I’m making it a goal for 2011 to add yoga to my weekly schedule. It’s been tough because it’s time consuming. But I’m going to do it!

    Leanne, go up to the gym when there’s a TV show on that you’d like to watch and use a treadmill or eliptical while you’re watching. I find it makes the time go so fast. I also bring up magazines and read while I’m on the stairs.

    Here’s another tip – think of it as research! All those guys … yum!

    • leannebanks says:

      Gorgeous Helen, I can’t fathom doing that stair stepper. Way way too much torture! So far, I’ve scheduled my visits to the gym during a morning show that I consider a guilty indulgence. hahahha I’ve done a little yoga and really loved how I felt afterward, but I can’t do everything at once.:) Go you with your deadlines! xo

  16. Quilt Lady says:

    Sorry to say I got out of my exercise stuff a few months ago and so need to get back into it. At lease start walking again if this weather will straighten out and I can get my living room finished been doing some dry wall work in there getting ready to paint. Hope to start painting this weekend.

  17. Stephenia says:

    I think endorphins are a big fat lie too. What I never understand is how quickly you can gain pounds but they take FOREVER to get off. The fat cells attach themselves with superglue or something.

    I do know I feel better when my body is lighter and when I move more. I have fallen into the sedentary life the last years also and am trying to make the change to a more active life again.

  18. leannebanks says:

    Stephenia, I’m usually at the front of the line for sedentary people, so I totally understand what you’re talking about. And trust me, my workout is very gentle. The great thing about starting out at zero is that ANYTHING is more than what I was doing before!:) xo

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