I missed my blog date last week. What’s worse, it’s my second forget in just a few weeks. I could go into a lengthy explanation about being back to school, training a new aide, getting used to a new principal…but wait a minute. Is that an explanation or an excuse? Because I’m sort of out of patience with excuses. Even my own.
It seems like every political or Hollywood figure who screws up feels the need for a very public mea culpa. And the sorry doesn’t linger nearly as long on their lips as the excuses for their behavior do. Our newest is Kanye West’s ‘I bled hard’ self-indulgent bleat about how much his egregious behavior last year at the Video Music Awards has cost him, in terms of his reputation, career and clothing line. Umm, I don’t know about you but that sounds a lot more like self-pity than anything else. Note to Kanye: an apology via twitter lacks a little something in sincerity. And blaming his behavior on a ‘lil alcohol’ really doesn’t sound like someone accepting responsibility for his actions.
But perhaps I’m judging him too harshly. Excuses are everywhere in our society. Don’t believe me? Ask teachers about their favorites from kids who haven’t done their homework. (“My sister threw up on it” currently tops my personal favorite list). Ask bosses who can’t get their employees to show up to work. Better yet, check out some of the more creative ones I found below:
Excuses for breaking a date/relationship:
My friend told me that after a while a couple starts to look like each other. I think I need to break up with you before that can happen.
Tonight I have to shave the cat..
Excuses for accidents:
A pedestrian came out of nowhere, hit my car and now he’s under it.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Excuse me for not doing my homework, its cause you ASKED me to do it, you didn’t TELL me to do it so I thought it was optional.
Excuses for being late:
I was still waiting for the tooth fairy.
I was harvesting my crops on Farmville.
I have no excuse for being late, I was honestly just too drunk to wake up.
I’m not late. I decided to change my hours to make them more convenient.
Your wife didn’t have my breakfast ready on time.
I saw you weren’t in the office so I went out looking for you.
The bed was warm. The car is cold. It seemed like a no-brainer.
Excuses for sleeping at work:
This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.
Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!
Excuses for not going to work:
I’m having problems with my eyes – I can’t see coming in.
I won’t be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.
I used up all of my sick days, so today I’m calling in dead.
I dreamed that I was fired so I didn’t bother to get out of bed.
I woke up feeling so good today I decided to call in well and do something else.
If it is all the same to you I won’t be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
What do you think, do we make too many excuses? Whose excuses are you most tired of hearing? Is there a difference between an excuse and a reason? And most importantly, will you accept my excuse for being late if I promise to do better in the future?