How do you flirt?


Flirting intrigues me. There are so many different types. Personally, I think it’s kind of an art form. And a dying art form at that because I believe the best flirting is done with very little actual interaction. A glance, the flicker of a smile, maybe a light touch. The problem with our current world is that so little is taboo. People can say and do practically anything. Where’s the fun in that?

Although, I have to admit, I LOVE good banter. It’s best if it’s not too obvious. Wonderful if it’s edgy and witty and sharp. Even better if the couple walks away from each other for about 200 pages. Because I want that flirtiness to last and it’s almost impossible to prolong it once the relationship is on solid ground. There has to be something holding them back in order to create really good flirting. It’s the thrill of the chase, I guess.

In my own humble opinion it’s the lack of flirtiness that causes the breakup of a good many marriages. It’s that spark, that thrill, that ‘can I have him’ excitement that makes relationships exhilarating. Once that’s gone, there’s a void. I’ve read that married couples argue most about sex and money, but the leading cause of divorce is boredom. So how do you hold onto that spark? I don’t have any answers here. Just questions, and I know I’m not alone. Even the world’s most beautiful people have trouble keeping the excitement alive. Hollywood is the official battleground of failed marriages.

And speaking of Hollywood, what are your favorite flirting scenes? One of my all-time best is the scene from Meet Joe Black when Brad Pitt meets his love interest. They’re utterly adorable together, and it’s partly because they had such a short time together before he well…you know.

Remember Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in Indiscreet? Some of their dialogue is priceless.


Oh, after Hauf’s recommendation from a few weeks ago, I found the movie Ondine. Yikes. Okay, I’ll admit it, I’ve always had a thing for Collin Ferrell. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help myself. After seeing that film, however, I feel that my obsession is fully justified and it’s not just his accent…or his face. (It’s his body, too.) I mean…it’s the part he plays. His flirting consists of little more than a few longing glances. But I’ll tell you what…it worked for me. Charming movie.

So how about you? What are your favorite flirting scenes? And what makes them work?

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4 Responses to How do you flirt?

  1. Great topic, Lois!The first scene that popped into my head–probably because Elizabeth and I took a tour of Amish country recently–is the scene in "Witness" in the barn, where Harrison Ford is working on the car, and "Don't Know Much About History" comes on the radio. Remember? Very little dialog. He sings snippets of the song, does a little bongo action on the roof of the car, steals a glance, gets her to dance, gives her that look, sings a little more. There were so many taboos hanging over them, and they were both so hungry and attracted and tempted and principled and needy. It was a delicious scene, written by romance writer who couldn't sell her novel so she turned it into a screenplay.

  2. Michele Hauf says:

    I'm so glad you saw Ondine! Yes, he is just magnetic in that movie, and for some reasons unknown, and others very obvious. He does have a nice body, even though they cover it up a lot. And those longing glances.Those are the kinds of flirtations I love. Some of my favorite scenes come from the movie Persuasion. The couple barely even get to touch (set during Jane Austen's time period; I don't know the year; someone here will). The most delicious moments in the movie are when the hero and heroine share a long look, a regretful glance, a hopeful sigh. Oh! And in Bright Star, another period piece probably during the 'Jane Austin' time. There's a scene where they just touch hands, and it's not really even a clasp, but just a touch. And wow! I'll take that over brazen flirtation any day.I think I live in the wrong time period. Hm…

  3. lois greiman says:

    Hmmm, blogger doesn't seem to be showing all comments.

  4. lois greiman says:

    That Witness scene was a great one, Kathy.And Hauf, I've yet to see Star Bright. Must put it on my list.

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