So given my irreverent sense of humor, I’m a sucker for the t-shirts with pithy sayings on them. If left to my own devices, that’s all I’d have in my wardrobe, so it’s just as well that I hate to shop. That means I’m not often close to temptation.
The writers among us will recognize a few sayings we see emblazoned on other authors’ shirts:
–Nothing bad happens to a writer. It’s all material.
–Careful. You might end up in my novel.
–In my book, I’ve already killed you three times.
–Romance Writers: Turning frogs into princes on a daily basis.
–You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to ME.
But apparently there are top ten lists for funny t-shirts. Who knew, right? Do any of these yank at your funny bone?
–Hard work pays off in the long run, but procrastination pays off now! (words I live by!)
–In America anyone can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
–Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
–I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
–I don’t need your attitude, I have one of my own.
–Morons enjoy this t-shirt. I’m glad you like it.
–I’m back by popular demand.
–Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
–Jesus loves you. But I’m his favorite.
–Jesus is coming. Look busy.
–Don’t make me violate my probation.
–Paddle faster. I hear banjos.
–I love cats but I can’t eat a whole one.
–If it weren’t in the gutter, my mind would be homeless. (Ah, an idea for my hubby’s birthday!)
–The police never think it’s as funny as you do.
–Half the people you know are below average.
–Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
–I don’t have A.D.D. I’m just…Hey, look! A bird! (Do you have to be a teacher to think this is funny?)
–Cancel my subscription. I’m tired of your issues.
–Madness takes its toll. Please try to have exact change.
–…And if I did get smart with you, how would you know?
–Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
–Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date.
–A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Do you have an irreverent saying on a t-shirt, coffee mug, or bumper sticker? If you could special order one of these t-shirts, what saying would you put on it?